An all around update

I am a writer. I write in many different ways. I have been writing poetry, scripts, books, short stories, essays, lyrics, and other stuff. I have several book ideas going on right now, and I have been thinking about some short stories, occasionally i come up with a new song, essays are rare, scripts are common, but i dont work on them often, and i love poetry, though like songs, new ones are at best occasional.

A friend recently asked me if writing was how I vented feelings. I kind of do. I vent my sad feelings by writing, and my happy ones. I have written two angry songs, and neither are pleasant. I didnt like writing them much, but it really helped.

Anger is vented mostly by being angry. When I am angry there are two ways I vent with music. One is to listen to happy Beatles songs (ie. A Hard Day's Night, Eight Days A Week, etc.), but when I am angry sometimes I listen to angry music (Rammstein), which accelerates the feelings, but it keeps me pleasant around company. Sometimes I get mean though. When I look back on experiences when I was mean, I really don't like them. Being mean when I am angry makes me very upset, probably more so than when I was angry, but in a sad way, not an angry way.


I had the most horrible realization the other day. Me and my bro were out buying laundry detergeant for my mom, and there was cleaning supplies on the other side. I saw "Easy-Bam off!" and I thought to myself, "Hey, when I'm older thats what I want in my bathroom." Then I realized what that meant. In five years, I will be in my freshman year of college, and living alone (or with a roommate). I will have to buy my cleaning supplies, and laundry detergeant. Then I saw the price for "Easy-Bam Off!" It was 6.49. This may sound cheap, but that seemed like a lot of money, especially when I will need another in a few weeks. 6.49 is nothing. But when you add sponges, paper towels, silverware, laundry detergeant, dish soap, shampoo, body soap, conditioner, tooth paste, tooth brushes, mouth rinse, tissue, toilet paper, windex, regular towels, and all the other stuff, most of which has to be replaced often, that is a lot of money. And I will have to shop for all that stuff too. And thats just keeping a house going. What about when I have kids?? Diapers, toys, diapers, clothes, diapers. Then more toys, ipod, phone, all this stuff. I have no concept of money. I have a job, make money, spend it. But in reality I pay for nothing. I will work and spend. Is that what my whole life will be?? Wow, this is depressing.

Talking about life. I feel young. I feel ignorant and like I lack too much knowledge. I also have no idea what to do with my life. I hate my indecision.But, what the hell. I'm 14. People who know exactly what they wanna do with their life for sure when they're 14 should open their mind to more. lol

THE GMAIL CONSPIRACY!!!!

I was signing on to gmail today when I realized there was something wrong. After signing on there is usually a loading screen. The window is blank, and there is a red, underlined sign that says loading usually, which is in the top left hand corner. This time, there was a loading sign slightly below the left corner, but it was black and bold. I am beginning to investigate the case. Now, be patient everyone, I am no Carly Frankel, but I do have ability. Although.....I have only even begun to theorize one thing. The whole difference in gmail is the font change on the loading screen. Hmmmmm.... font change...

I've got it! Font change! This case must be related to the Raisin Bran conspiracy! Interesting progression... I must consult with Frankel!