Have you ever felt like you're not ready to wake up in the morning? And I don't mean, because you haven't finished your homework, or you need to make a cake and get a bunch of presents for someone. And I don't mean, in the morning. Have you ever felt like you're not ready to wake up in the morning, at night?
Tomorrow (today, actually) should be great. I'm gonna hang out with my friend, and play video games, we're probably gonna go the 7-11 and get Monster and chips and candy and then play more video games. Why the fuck shouldn't I be ready to wake up?
Is it the stress, from my girlfriend who puts odd pressures on me, while saying she can't see us together anymore (thank, God)? Is it the fact that all of my writing is strained and my new shit is terrible? Is it the fact, that I'm in love with the wrong person? Is it the fact that I have the nerve to write any of this down?
Am I being dramatic? Yes. Do I think about myself too often? Yes. Am I selfish? Sometimes. Does any part of anything matter? We can hope, can't we?
Who the hell am I to have an opinion of this world? I view it as a piece of ridiculous shit not worth my time, and I spend half my time wishing it was different, and the other half wishing it was just better.
Am I a cynical and angsty teenager? Yes. Am I unhappy with my life? Yes. Do I like muffins? Yes. Am I so self-centered that I basically lied to a girl who showed interest in me so that I wouldn't feel awkward? You know, I really wish I could say "no."
What the fuck is wrong with me that I have to announce to the public what I'm going through? I feel detached from all the people I would've once taken a bullet for, but would still take the bullet. I feel like I don't know or understand my best friends.
Do I have any talent as a writer? We'll figure that out eventually. Did I miss the opportunity for happiness? Probably. Am I bitching to myself and recording it for the public (or the few, if any, people still checking this blog)? Yes.
I just realized that I don't have the guts to change my life in the way it needs to be changed. A new door is opening though. High school, how I loathe thee.
High school, should I compare thee to a fair summer day?
Yes, I will, because i fucking hate the sun.
Everything think of me as a little crazier? Don't know what you just thought so tell me if ya read this.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I just think you sound REALLY stressed out. Because that is how I sound when I'm REALLY stressed out.
Breathe. This, too, shall pass.
yeah, i think ur a tad crazier, & this post did confuse me a little, but you know what that's ok, cuz i totally get where ur comin from! lol
You are loved, liked, admired, respected, and enjoyed. You are beautiful in the eyes of many.
I think it's important to be "true" to yourself, and I interpret that as this: when you're 90 years old can you look yourself in the mirror forgive yourself your mistakes and know that you did what you could to love those you care about? And, did you do what you love? and did your efforts have a "positive" effect? You are formulating, developing and becoming just like the rest of us, decide now the "who" you would like to be and follow that.
Post a Comment